Honesty

a poem about love without possession

It amazes me

That you still want to be with me

After everything I’ve put you through,

That you want my success and happiness

Often more than you want your own.

But I want you to want your own,

To not sacrifice yourself for others

Or for me.

I want you to fly

Like you were always meant to.

I want you to see

That with or without me,

You already are your own source of magic.

I see you being so hard on yourself,

The same way I once was.

It’s hard to shake our programming,

To snap into the sharp self-realization

That we are a collection of beliefs,

Thought patterns, and behavior;

Energy in motion, always acting and reacting,

Reflecting and believing what we think we see,

But somehow not remembering

What we actually are.

Your infinite support

And love that runs over -

You deserve to give yourself that too,

To remember you once had dreams,

To realize they didn’t die;

They’re only lying dormant

In a half-remembered slumber,

Waiting for heart’s recall.

I love you

No matter what happens.

You’ve shaped me and seen me,

Helped me to finally see myself.

Even in the bad times,

We helped each other grow,

Because flowers grow in the rain,

And with us, when it rained it always poured,

Which led to deep roots

And a super bloom.

We bonded through shared trauma,

But also through acceptance

And acknowledgement of healing,

Still loving the other

In all the ways that we know how to.

I don’t know if soulmates are real.

If I could, I would make it so you were one.

But I do know that what we have is real

In a way that is messy,

But consistently unwavering,

Accepting and honest,

Forged over countless arguments,

Thousands of shared laughs and soft kisses,

Still being able to be there for each other

When everyone else always seemed to leave.

I don’t know how to let go.

It doesn’t seem fair to either of us.

I can only acknowledge

This awareness

That we’ve been preparing each other

For whatever is supposed to be next.

When it comes, I won’t fight it,

And I hope you won’t either.

It’s okay if you don’t see things this way.

I’m afraid these words will hurt you,

Which I never wanted.

I would rather celebrate

All we’ve been through,

How we’ve grown,

And enjoy this time together

As long as it is meant to be for,

Even if it is not forever,

Like we were told it would be.